Dear Tina, thank you tremendously for sharing about some of the tremendous challenges that you and your husband are experiencing. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for everything that you are going through.

We lost my MIL in 2013 to a stroke brought about by her early onset Alzheimer’s, so I can relate, at least in part, to some of the many challenges, struggles, surprises, heartaches, and those rare(r) good moments that accompany a love one’s battle with dementia.

Please imagine me sitting directly across from you, taking your hand in mine (if you were comfortable with that, of course), and assuring you that you 100% normal. Even the strongest, most caring person can only take so much. We might be able to put forth superhuman efforts at times, but ultimately, we are all human and no matter how much we love and want to be there for those we care about, we all have limits.

I cannot begin to tell you how much it touches my heart to know that you found comfort and support in this post. Hearing that means an immeasurable amount to me and helps to encourage me all the more to write further posts on health and wellness related topics here.

My strength and understanding, support and uplifting energy are with you and your DH.

Many hugs,
♥ Autumn

Hi Maureen, thank you very much for your comment and for touching on the highly important point that is (scarily) easy to feel as though we’re not doing enough or falling short of hitting the mark of being an effective carer at times (regardless of if such is actually the case of not).

As with a lot of areas in life, it can be extremely easy to experience, when in the role of a carer, what is known as imposter syndrome and to believe as a result that we are not performing/acting/doing/etc as well or as much as we are in fact accomplishing.

In reality, a good many people who care for others are giving things 110%, doing their best, pushing themselves beyond their limits, and far from failing or taking less-than-ideal approaches.

In the thick of caring for another, we are often drained, exhausted, stressed, worried and many other heavy emotions, and these things can compound how quick we are to judge ourselves harshly. Stepping back and honestly evaluating what we’re doing and how we’re helping our loved one, coupled with must-have breaks and some form of helpful system in place to ensure we are not “on the job”, so to speak, 24/7 can make a world of difference.

Thank you again for your comment and visit. If you are a fellow carer yourself, please know that my thoughts, support and understanding are with you.

♥ Autumn

You are sincerely welcome, Donna. Thank you immensely for your kind, supportive comment. I’m touched to know that you found this post beneficial. Please don’t hesitate to let me know here (or via email) if you have any questions pertaining to what was covered in this post or if you’re a carer yourself and need an understanding friend to talk to about anything that you may be going through.

♥ Autumn

You’re wholeheartedly welcome, lovely soul. You are a stellar, engaging and very insightful writer. I greatly enjoy your blog (and IG posts), which I’ve been reading for a few months now.

Thank you again for your comment here, as well as for DMing me on IG. I will strive to reply to you there asap.

Due to the enormous volume of DMs I receive each week (far more than I could every reply to in that timeframe), I have a continual and rather sizable backlog of DMs.

I do everything in my power to reply to people as quickly as I realistically can, but encourage folks – yourself very much included – to email me (autumnzenithwitch@gmail.com) if you ever need to speak with my privately about something that is time-sensitive or otherwise highly important.

Many thanks again. May you have a safe, sunny, serene and abundantly blessed June.

♥ Autumn

You are wholeheartedly welcome, my very dear friend. Thank you for your radiant kindness and concern for my own well-being.

Thank the twinkling stars above, Tony is presently doing a fair bit better on the health front than earlier this year, when the seeds of the idea for this post took root. As such, a greater degree of normalcy (putting aside – and this is a mammoth aside, of course – the pandemic) has been able to return to our daily lives and moreover (an more importantly) to his quality of life. This is an immense blessing and we hold out hope that he will continue to improve and regain greater kidney health again all the more with each fresh day.

You are such a strong, inspiring, wonderful person you are to take on the role of nurse and caregiver at times as well. There can be a lot of rewarding elements and deeply personal experience to these important acts, but as you touched on, doing these kinds of incredibly caring acts can also severely wear people out or cause a complete burnout. I’ve teetered close to that point before myself (though, thankfully, not yet so far this year in terms of caring for Tony), but have always managed to recognize and address it before something truly rough happened.

Doing so (being able to recognize that oneself) is not always easy at all and it is extraordinarily easy to understand how burnout (et al) happens – particularly if a person does not have a solid support system and/or others to help take some of the work and stress off of the primary carer’s shoulders at times.

I sincerely appreciate your caring comment and hope that in any and all future instances of being a nurse/carer, you will be able to avoid burnout, health issues brought on by this role, and other serious risks that can be involved for with tending to someone else’s health and wellness regularly or around the clock, as the case may be.

Immense hugs & the sunniest of mid-June wishes from my heart to yours,
♥ Autumn

Wow, Autumn, I read this blog and so much of it resonates with me. It is a wonderful guide to the caregiver, practical, informative but mostly hopeful that things we feel and experience are ‘normal’. Because of course the caregiver usually ends up feeling guilty that we aren’t doing enough or are doing the wrong thing at times. 💕 💕 💕

Oh I’m so glad to hear that! Also thank you for commentating on my space. I also left you a DM on insta ♥️